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I'm typing this out on the iPad, just in case, but I have been feeling a little better the last two days.

As I say, for some reason being at the computer is causing problems for me, while working at the iPad seems to be okay. 

I have had a couple serious attacks of vertigo in the last several weeks, and I knew I needed to take my physical condition seriously. 

Thursday, January 3rd I had a bad attack of vertigo while I was making a pastoral visit to a funeral home. I had spent the morning typing up the funeral service I had planned for that Friday. I went to the funeral home to spend some time with the family, and give them an overview of the service.

The dizziness hit hard as I walked in the door. It was a severe attack. It lasted for several hours. In stead of giving support to the family, they ended up giving support to me — plus, it must have raised questions for them about whether I was physically able to conduct the funeral service the next day. 

I was diagnosed with
Meniere’s Disease long ago — around 1993, during the time I was pastoring the Horton Bay United Methodist Church. I had several severe attacks of vertigo — including one that put me in the hospital overnight (the impulse to vomit couldn't be controlled) — but these all happened at home. And, the last attack I had while living there (the one that sent me to the hospital), was the last vertigo attack I had for many, many years. 

It started happening again shortly after I formally retired from the United Methodist ministry. 

The attack at the funeral home is the first time it's ever happened in a public place. That was extremely disturbing and embarrassing. 

Then, on the Thursday after that, I posted some reflections on Psalm 115: 8, 9. These were composed at the computer. Ideas seemed to be flowing, and I wanted to get it down.

 I paid dearly for that. The next day I had an attack of vertigo while driving the car. Fortunately, there was a gas station near by — I pulled off there and called my wife, who came and got me. That has never happened to me before, and it was even more frightening. 

Maybe I need to say something here about what vertigo is — at least, what it is in my case. It means the world is spinning. It is like the effect of those old fashioned Merry-go-rounds. When you get off, the world is spinning. If you do it enough, you will get sick and nauseous. That is it — but without the Merry-go-round. All sense of balance is lost and the world seems to be spinning. This brings on nausea and vomiting. An attack will last several hours. It is completely debilitating. 

So, the attack that occurred while driving was the most disturbing of all. I could easily have had a car accident — I mean, I could have caused one.

So, I've been laying low. My body seems to be fighting off some sort of infection — or several of them — and I need to get over it. 

The last two days I seem to be quite a bit better, but I'm still being careful. Sunday I am preaching, so I need to well enough by then to do that. 

While I haven't been on the computer, I have been doing some reading — both on the iPad and from those old fashioned printed, bound things. So, I've made good use of the time. 

I don't know what I'm learning through this experience — except my own helplessness. Sometimes there are things you can't control or master. 

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